Real women

So I read a lot. I read so much in fact that if you tell me a random week in pregnancy I bet you I could tell you what happens. I read stories too. Of women and their pregnancies and births etc.. From all this reading I have formed the opinion that most women want to feel sexy and skinny during pregnancy and when you're not, youre somehome less of a woman. Let me tell you. I have stacked it on. I feel like crap most of the time for all the weight I put on and most of the time I doubt I look sexy to my man.

At 27 weeks pregnant, I feel like I'm allowed to gain a little extra, especially in Winter and especially as I am so tired all the damn time I cant be bothered cooking amazing, healthy meals for my partner and I. I also feel that dressing up like a peacock when I leave the house nowdays is a little pointless as I used to do that and have acheived the desired result from doing so *points to ring and belly*, so I feel I'm one up on all those single gals clopping around in massive shoes, not eating and flirting with anything falic, and a little less hoplessly dowdy in my sisters crocs.

This probably sounds like a rant at this point but, out of all the stories I've read, none of the women have said anything about their husbands not finding them sexually attractive. I don't mean sexy, I mean, they do not want to have sex with their wives anymore for some reason or another. Am I right in thinking its weird that my man doesn't want me anymore? Or is this normal? And the thing is, the only thing making me feel bad about this whole thing is that other women are talking about their man still wanting them night and day!

I like sex, nay, I LOVE sex. I could have it all day, every day, even now. But my man is the complete opposite of me. He hates it. Don't know why I had to find out just now but I did and I don't care, I love his frigid head anyway. Some days I do still wish that he would roll over and be intimate with me, but for the most part, him just talking to me makes me smile. I honestly feel like I'm going to be judged for saying this but you know what, I don't care. I have a sexless pregnancy and I'm still alive. In fact, I'm happy. I wish more women would come out and admit it. Because maybe if we could all talk about it a little more, not like its a dirty secret, but as a fact of life, we could all share ideas and find some other ways to spend time with our partners.

Am I weird for not caring how I look? Is it lazy of me to roll our of bed and pull my pudding shaded hair back into a bun and throw on a dress? Or do I need to impress everyone even now?

I have the answer.

No. My body, my choice. If I cared what people thought, I wouldn't be a jobless artist, pregnant at 23 years old, unmarried with rainbow hair. I'll put everything else on hold till I finish making a person, thank-you-very-much. Then I'll worry about fitting into those size 6 jeans again. Maybe. If I'm not too busy trying to be the most amazing mother I can be for my son.

"My body is a sacred vessel, all you have in your belly is Taco-Bell." - Juno